So You Want To Be
by TheMacUnleashed
Summary: Job ads from the GFFA. FINISHED.
1. Jedi

SO YOU WANT TO BE A 

JEDI 

What are the perks of

being a Jedi?

. You get to carry a lightsaber!

. Get in touch with your Midi-Chlorians!

. Never have to marry/ make a commitment to others, except when associated with business!

. Long meditation hours!

. Summon your own cookies, without having to go to the Dark Side!

. Have inner peace!

HOURS

Your lifetime, retire late in life.

Is there anything bad about being a Jedi?

Nope!

Enroll today in the Jedi academy!

"There is no emotion; there is peace."

"There is no ignorance; there is knowledge"

"There is no passion; there is serenity"

"There is no death; there is the Force."

May have fatal encounters with Sith. In the event of this, the Council is not liable to compensate for your loss, as you will be one with the Force, forever uncaring.


	2. Sith

SO YOU WANT TO BE A SITH

WHAT ARE THE PERKS OF BEING A SITH?

. Carry a red lightsaber!

. Carry a double sided lightsaber!

. We have dark chocolate: Better for your heart than milk chocolate!

. Build Death Stars!

. Carry a blaster!

. Wear cool armor!

. Get revenge on the Jedi!

. Learn Jedi tricks, but use them against them!

HOURS:

Your lifetime!

IS THERE ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BEING A SITH?

NOPE!

So what are you waiting for? Start your free training today!

"Anger is Good. Hate is Good. Believe in the Dark Side of the Force."

You may die in the line of duty. In the event of this, we have a right to dump your body in a hole. And not a grave.


	3. Sith Lord

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing! I invented all the sayings at the bottom except for the Jedi one. All characters belong to George Lucas.**

SO YOU WANT TO BE A

SITH LORD

Are you tired of being a storm-trooper? Are you starting to feel like a clone? Being a Sith Lord might be the job for you!

REQUIREMENTS

.Must enjoy having a name that begins with "Darth".

.Must like commanding people.

.Sense of humor must be evil.

.Be kind and you're out.

.Must be willing to ruthlessly acquire power.

WHAT ARE THE PERKS OF BEING A SITH LORD?

.Command entire star fleets!

.Be as evil as you like!

.Kill Jedi!

.Kill other people you don't like!

.Be in touch with the Emperor himself!

.Have a DOUBLE-SIDED lightsaber!

Hours

Till you die!

_"Power, greed, cool suits…Sith Lord!"_

On occasion, may be vice-versa.

Only occurs if you are so ugly the Emperor cannot stand your real face. Also if you cannot live without it…literally.


	4. Ewok

SO YOU WANT TO BE AN

EWOK

Does your life seem unfulfilled? Are you bored? Do you throw rocks for no reason? If so, you might want to be an Ewok.

Requirements

.Must get genetically altered to: Be under 31/2 Ft., covered with hair of a "natural" color, speak ewokish. 1

.Must take sadistic pleasure in flinging rocks at things' heads.

.Must have the ability to use stone-age weapons.

.Must like natural, uncivilized environments.

. Must eat meat.

.Must be willing to behave in an uncivilized manner.

Perks

.Behave in an uncivilized manner!

.Live on Endor!

.Fight evil storm-troopers!2

.Live in touch with nature!

.Be a medicine person without being a doctor!

.Be a chief!3

So what are you waiting for? Get genetically engineered today!

_Gronk woofie laguinio weend_! 4

1 If matches description already, step may be skipped.

2 Storm-troopers dangerous. You sissy Ewok if not fight!

3 May be killed while attempting to become one.

4 Join friend Ewoks good!


	5. Protocol Droid

**So You Want to be a Protocol Droid**

Are you fluent in approximately 3,000,000 million languages? Do you call your religious ruler "The Maker"? Does it seem to you that all your friends are trying to get you killed? If so, you might want to consider becoming a protocol droid.

Requirements

.Must be enclosed in a metal casing

.Must have an English accent

.Must be able to ramble on for hours at a time about linguistics- And enjoy it

.Must have funky-looking eyes

Perks 

.Have such flowery nicknames as Goldenrod!

.Be able to yell obscenities at your electronics- in their own language! 1

.Have an English accent, even if you're from Tatooine!

"_Oh my"_

1 In the event that your computer decides to get revenge on you, please don't sue me if you survive.

**A/N: This is kind of short, sorry. Please R/R!**


	6. Space Smuggler

SO YOU WANT TO BE A

SPACE SMUGGLER

Can't get enough of the smell of spices? Don't ask questions? Like money? Become a space pirate today!

Perks

.Well paying!

.Delightfully dangerous! 1

.See parts of the universe you didn't know existed! 2

.Get in where the action is!

.Meet cool aliens!

REQUIREMENTS

.Must supply own ship.

.Must be quick and sneaky.

.Must hang out at bars to find potential customers.

.Must have secret compartments on ship.

.Must be willing to pay value of cargo if dumped. 3

So what are you waiting for? Become a space smuggler today!

"_Trust only your employer."_

1 In event of death, may not be delightful.

2 May include the afterlife.

3 If not done, consequences may include getting frozen in solid carbonite.


	7. Astromech Droid

A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner; I was hungry so I ate my plot bunnies

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner; I was hungry so I ate my plot bunnies.**

**So You want to be an Astromech Droid**

**Do you whistle a lot? Do you have a bunch of funky little gadgets that can do virtually anything? Are you constantly being tortured? If so, you might consider becoming an Astromech droid.**

Requirements:

. Must have a dome-shaped head

. Must enjoy repairing things

. Must be willing to have a name that is a combination of letters and numbers (I.E. R2D2)

. Must be willing to learn a new language

What are the perks of being an Astromech droid?

. Repair stuff!

. You can swear at people, and they'll never know! 1

. Hack into computers as part of your job!

. Be made of metal!

**So what are you waiting for? Become an Astromech droid today!**

**"**_Bleep bo bleeeeee whoo blop bleee!" 2_

1: In the event that someone does understand, we are not responsible for any punishment that comes your way.

2: We had plans to translate, but when we asked the droids what their motto was (We had a Protocol Droid to translate), the obscenities were so bad we would have had to rate this M if we wanted to provide an accurate translation.


	8. Wookie

Sorry for not updating sooner

**Sorry for not updating sooner. I couldn't think of what to do. I'll try to update this story at least once a week.**

**So You Want to be a Wookie**

Are you roughly 7 feet tall? Is shaving pointless? Do all the Sasquatch (Bigfoot) jokes come to an awkward halt as soon as you walk into the room? If so, you might want to become a wookie.

What are the perks of being a wookie?

. Get instant facial hair!

. Don't worry about going bald in old age!

. Be allowed, or even expected to, pull the arms off people who beat you in sabacc!

. Speak a language nobody else actually understands!

Requirements

. Must be over six and a half feet tall

. Must be completely covered in hair

. Must be willing to deal with the occasional Bigfoot jokes

. Must speak wookie

So what are you waiting for? Become a wookie today!

_Grunt roar arroo roo AHHH1_

1 These were the last sounds heard over the comlink of the man sent to get the wookie's motto. Turns out he beat a wookie in a game of sabacc, and yeah, that didn't end well. 


	9. Member of the Jedi Council

A/N: The last chapter is here

**A/N: The last chapter is here! I would enjoy doing more, and maybe if I ever get a Random Burst of Inspiration I will, but I can't update enough to continue doing this. Thanks to everyone who read, and especially everyone who reviewed. **

So you Want to be a Member of the Jedi Council 

Are you bored of being just one of the thousands of Jedi in the universe? Are you way to strict and uptight? Does sitting down appeal to you? If so, you might want to consider becoming a member of the Jedi Council.

What are the Perks of Being a Council Member?

. Be imposing!

. Enforce rules!

. Good question!

Requirements

. Must be between 3 and 6.5 feet tall

. Must be someone nobody would suspect of going to the Sith

. Must be waaaaaay too suspicious

. Must be "unique" looking

So what are you waiting for? Become a Council Member today!

"_Out you must get! Allowed in the chamber, authors are not! _1

1 This was the response given to me by Yoda when asked if the Council had a motto.

**A/N: This is a horrible ending, I know. There will be a challenge related to this on my profile soon.**


End file.
